While most people are concerned about the political situation, I think it is not important. Why, because countries and economies will bounce back. They usually do - some may take a longer time, or even a different route. For many of us, we all wish the route will be least violent one. As parents with young children, we need to take steps back, reflect and plan our lives - taking our socio-, political and economic environment into perspective.
As parents it is not enough to give our children food on the table and learning to read and write. It is much more than that! It is preparing them for the future - a future we can only predict,unfortunately. To do this, we need to be able to nurture our children to think. To think different, to think out of the box. If we cannot to that we should at least strongly encourage our children to critically question as this is how the thinking process begins.
To create a thinking community, certain conditions must be present - one of them is freedom to question. This means that our children will not be imposed fear as it would prevent the flow of ideas and creativity. Another criteria is the tolerance to failure (much more than the need to be successful).
One of the possible future prediction is that growth of what is called the "creative economy" will drive change. The creative economy will be the "premium economy" while the current traditional production-based will be the "commodity". Commodity because it's growth will be dependent on price, price of infrastructure, land and labour. That's why factories production facilities are being built (and rebuilt) in countries that offer the lowest cost of operations.
Without going into an economic lecture, suffice to say that our country is not ready for the future. We are living in the past (a failed past), freedom is lacking and the punitive actions of the laws such as the ISA, Sedition Act, etc is only helping people to be more afraid - when there is fear, there is no thinking. With no thinking, there will be no innovations and we will be stuck in the past. For this reason, I am oppose to such Acts.
Of course, there is this thing called schools of which we have an education systems. Our schools are an extension of these factories lead be people who are far, far from innovative and forward looking. We cannot depend on schools, they were created a hundred years ago and theyhave not changed. This is another matter I have written on many times. Okay, time to stop before this blog becoming a political blog. This post is about getting being concerned parents wanting the best for our children - in the future. It's about connecting and reconnecting with our children,our community and society and actively seeking our children's true potential.
Where do we begin? Here are some of my thoughts.....
React, Respond or Anticipate?
Our kids are no longer babies protected under our wings. Our children are growing right in front of our eyes. Their universes are no longer within the limited radius of the crib or the baby car seat, or the walker. They are now more plugged into the a much bigger universe through the internet, television, friends and schools. In many cases our children seems to be more plugged-in than us. Their minds are being shaped as we speak. The sad things is that what's shaping their minds are not so much by parents. We parents need to compete with other more sources of influences.
If we put together all the time we have available for our children (minus work, travelling, etc) versus their school, friends, internet, television and whatever else - parents time comes in somewhere in the bottom. That's why some families do not have sattelite TV or internet in their homes. The things that makes our lives better seems to be pulling use away from each other. Being parents today is not easy, more so in a complex urban environment. Our lives are so different from the time of our parents.
So, how then do we manage of handle the situation? Do we react without thinking much, or to respond with some sensibility and patience? Or do we try to do something now and and anticipate the future? These are difficult questions, more difficult when each situation presents itself right before us. Here is where we need to give a lot of focus and attention. Some of the work of FamilyPlace attempts to bring awareness. The awareness that being parents demands much more, we need to have a much broader perspective of things.
Simply put, we need to STOP and respond accordingly - STOP the need to keep up with the Jones, Ali's, Chong's or Samy's. Find your own lives values! We need to respond and anticipate.
Recognize the genius in our children
Many know that my family has embarked on the homeschooling for our children. A couple of days ago someone remarked that we are "strongly encourage homeschooling". I said to this person, " Not true"!
We are strongly encouraging "diversity in learning". The one-size-fits-all schooling systems is not the way to go. Each child is different, we need to acknowledge them.
It is time to STOP judging our own children based on the criteria of others! Stop asking and comparing how many A's each child gets. Ask our children more of such questions:
"Are you happy?"
Ask ourselves:
"How our child is smart?" (yes, this requires more work. It is easier to ask: how smart is our child?)
Find the time to connect and reconnect with our children. Seek for their true potential. If Michael Phelps who was dignosed as having ADHD, can succeed, there is much hope for our children. We need to find their strength and goodness.
Again, this effort requires hard work if you want to make the difference. When we make a difference to our lives and our children's. We are becoming a role model, a positive one. It is so much easier otherwise, not necessarily meaningful and effective.
The biggest challenge here in facing ourselves as parents. I know some parents find it really difficult even to hug their children, what more give them kisses. Some I know raise their voices and scold their children more often than talk with them. Guess what, the problem is with us parents - nothing wrong with our children. I know for a fact that these children long their parents affection, and sadly never get it. Parents over analyze this, go to therapist and healers to see what's wrong with their children but forget (or refuse) to find out if there is anything wrong with themselves. I really feel sorry for these children.
So parents, you really need to go beyond yourselves!
Seeing the bigger picture: Rethinking Needed!
I would really encourage all parents to look beyond to see the bigger picture. We need to rethink a lot of things and make meanful changes to our lives. We need to review and rethink about the environment our children are plugged into. At the same time reflect on how we ourselves are condition by our own parents and the environment at that time.
There is a saying in Chinese that goes "green comes from blue". This means a student can be better then his or her own teacher. This as a reminder that there are much more to being parents than just giving the best to our children - we need to create the conditions and to allow them to excel in their own right. It is not just about passing examinations and surely not about scoring the most A's. It is not just about making sure our kids get into universities and getting good jobs. It is looking beyond all that.
I hope this posting will be a little catalyst in this rethinking process. I hope there will be lots of questioning and lots more dialogue among parents with the inclusion of our children.
Some friends have asked us how do we ensure what we are doing is right. My standard answer is, "we are embracing and adapting change, our children will thus be able to better adapt to changes in the future. We are making this a way of life".
Above, all we cannot go wrong when we love our children and truly make the effort ourselves. We are not afraid to make changes as the only constants are our love for our children and change itself.
possibly more coming........
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