I am just wondering how as busy fathers, make time for your children and family? I am in a career transition period now and at the back of my mind I have this thoughts, "now, i will have more time with my family". But I am concern it is not the case - at least, not my my standards.
If you are working on your own, will you have the flexibility of you time. True or false? If you are working for others, you may less time. True or false?
How do you balance and manage?
Care to share some thoughts?
K V
INTERCONNECTIONS. Everything is connected, somehow.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
How important are our children?
Just got back from Sunday Dharma School today. Finally my kids have found a Sunday Dharma School they enjoy, could understand and connect with. They have even enjoyed Puja and have on their own initiated daily Puja sessions at home. I even started to join in their Sunday School Puja.
This morning while we were all waiting for Puja start a member from Buddhist center came up to the classes and instructed the teachers to "abandon" Puja, the classes elsewhere because there was a very important speaker in the center and there were just too many people attending the talk. A couple of the children's classes had give way for the audience to view a tv projection of the talk. The children's classes had to be "sacrificed".
A parent approached this adult and suggested that Puja must be conducted for the children. This parent also voiced his opinion that if Children's Puja is cancelled as it may send the wrong message to the children.
I agree with this parents and I generally feel that we will need to give attention to our children and give them the due respect. There is just too much of lip-service saying that we need to give attention to our children. Parents talk too much and it comes to making decisions, very commonly, children's needs are over-ruled. One of the last places I thought I would see this happen was in a Buddhist Center - but I guess it runs in our community ans society. I was upset because, have trying very hard find a connection for my children to the Buddhist teachings without being too imposing. I needed to let them have the space and fun to learn and appreciate for themselves.
I guess we will have to learn to live with it. I am just happy that we have opportunity to Puja together more regularly.
(our shrine at home where we do our Puja)
I guess, its up to up parents again - just as what the Ministers say when the schools cannot solve the problems - the parents needs to do their part.
K V
This morning while we were all waiting for Puja start a member from Buddhist center came up to the classes and instructed the teachers to "abandon" Puja, the classes elsewhere because there was a very important speaker in the center and there were just too many people attending the talk. A couple of the children's classes had give way for the audience to view a tv projection of the talk. The children's classes had to be "sacrificed".
A parent approached this adult and suggested that Puja must be conducted for the children. This parent also voiced his opinion that if Children's Puja is cancelled as it may send the wrong message to the children.
I agree with this parents and I generally feel that we will need to give attention to our children and give them the due respect. There is just too much of lip-service saying that we need to give attention to our children. Parents talk too much and it comes to making decisions, very commonly, children's needs are over-ruled. One of the last places I thought I would see this happen was in a Buddhist Center - but I guess it runs in our community ans society. I was upset because, have trying very hard find a connection for my children to the Buddhist teachings without being too imposing. I needed to let them have the space and fun to learn and appreciate for themselves.
I guess we will have to learn to live with it. I am just happy that we have opportunity to Puja together more regularly.
(our shrine at home where we do our Puja)
I guess, its up to up parents again - just as what the Ministers say when the schools cannot solve the problems - the parents needs to do their part.
K V
Seeing through the haze.....
The haze that has engulfed our city over the past couple of days has caused undue stress and worry for me and I guess for many parents as well. Although it seems that the situation is not too bad right now, I was affected in some ways and felt very uncomfortable with my chest giving occasional pain. Had to finally put on a mask. I later found out, the brother-in-law had the same problem.
(our haze fighting machine)What concerned me most was the effect on my family and children. After having heard a news report that asthma and breathing illness increased 150%, it worried me. I was calling back home almost every hour checking on my family and kids. My eldest daughter is potentially asthmatic and my one-year old son falls into the high risk category. Thank goodness they are fine. We tried all sort of stuff. My wife borrowed an air filter from her brother. We also told that "steaming" our rooms helped reduce the effects of the haze in our homes, which we did. I did it at my office as well. I think it worked. You should try it too.
While I was worried about the potential effect of the haze, I felt pretty helpless that there is nothing we can do about it. The thought that we cannot control things is pretty enhumbling, make one feels small and insignificant. Not sure how to deal with this yet but, right now living day by day through this hazy without any problems is top priority.
How did you deal with the haze situation?
K V
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
We remember....... how do we tell our children?
Today, 3 days after the the first atomic bomb was dropped in Hiroshima 60 years ago, is the anniversary of the second atomic bomb was dropped over Nagasaki. As we remember the event which claimed over 150,000 lives within the span of 3 days, I was trying hard to educate my children on the effect of war.I threw them a question, "what important world event happened this week 60 years ago". I told them to watch the news and find out for themselves. Their reply, at the end of the day was "Hiroshima!". My elder daughter could of course explain in some detail the historical detail. I on the otherhand tried to tried to insert the morals of war (rather the immorality) of war. I even managed to get them to watch (part of) the movie "Hiroshima" which detailed historically (at least that's what the CD cover claimed) the events leading up to the dropping of the atomic bombs which directly lead to the end of the second world war.
While watching the movie, my dad gently reminded me not to forget the incidents that happened before the atomic bomb was dropped - namely the atrocities the Japanese imperial army generated over the years. In Nanjing in China in 1937, the Japanese Imperial army captured Nanjing after grave atrocities were conducted. ABout 200,000 civilians were killed in the space of just 6 week. And throughout the Sino-Japanese war (1937-1945) over 7,000,000 Chinese civilians lost their lives. The damage and distruction by the atomic bomb pales in comparison to the atrocities of the Japanese Imperial Army over that period. One should not forget that the Americans came into the war with after November 1941 when the Japanese launched an air strike at Pearl Habour.
Yet, the challenge in educating our children is to teach non-violence is tough. There is not right and not wrong. Trying to tell tham that revenge is not the way and that war can be complicated affair.
After all this information communication over the past week, their response was a simple "okay, understand" and off they went to whatever they wanted to do - perhaps WW2 was too far away and cannot relate at all.
What are your thoughts and how did you talk about war with your children?
K V
Some references
http://www.bergen.org/AAST/Projects/ChinaHistory/rape.html (caution: graphic images)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanking_Massacre
http://users.rcn.com/mwhite28/ww2stats.htm (data & stats of casulties)
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